But then a strange thing happened. I started to think about what had been suggested as a way forward. These suggestions included visiting London monthly, visiting the National Media Museum in Bradford and perhaps some visits to explore the possibilities of Scottish archives. These all sound fabulous and very relevant to my research, however Jon has taken a pay freeze, and we're struggling to pay to get me to London once every six months, let alone once a month. The course fees are coming up again in September (double last years) and money is getting harder and harder to squeeze out of the budget for my studies.
So, what did I do? Well....I went and had a small nervy b (to quote Georgia Nicholson). I considered the possibility of maybe having to give up my studies and get a job. You must understand that's the last thing I want. I LOVE my studies. It makes me feel worthwhile, and I know it will get me a great job (hopefully) when I'm done, so Jon can give up work and I can bring in the pennies for him.
But still, I have all this guilt. Everyone else in the family is suffering and going without, just so I can get what I want. I know that's not realistic, but that's what my inner guilt is telling me.
But I don't want to submit a sub-standard Masters degree thesis because I haven't had the funds to complete the required research. I'd rather quit than do that.
So, after emailing my tutors and explaining the situation, they gave me a few suggestions. Namely, contact the uni funding dept (the answer there was there is no funding for post-grad), or change the parameters of my research question so that I am covering something I can research closer to home.
I've recently discovered the Cornish Studies Library in Redruth, who have a wealth of lovely information and some fabulous old family albums and archives. I spent a lovely day down there last week, just browsing and taking notes. I also have feeders out to Morrab library, Royal Cornwall Museum and the National Trust.
One of the questions I could ask is regarding how libraries and museums will improve online accessibility to their Family Album collections in the future?
The other possibility is to completely re-define the Family Album. This interests me quite a bit as it links to where I started and takes in everything from social, political and cultural changes since the 1850's. (I've done a lot of research on this already, be a shame to waste it!).
Subsequently though, I have come to a standstill. I cannot continue until I have decided what I'm doing, but I cannot decide until I start working on it. Catch 22.
Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated lovely blog reader.
Until then, I need one of these....
Or a winning one of these..........
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